My journey with "cleansing" my body started 16 years ago when I did my first Wild Rose Detox box cleanse. I had just had my first kid and felt exhausted, sick and tired. I bought a Wild Rose Detox kit (which many of you are familiar with…Terry Willard) and after 3 days, I broke out in full body hives and had the “flu”. After being pretty certain I was dying, I had my husband take me to emergency. I spent the evening with Doctors running tests to have them give me Benadryl (antihistamine) and send me home. Insult to injury…I am VERY allergic to Antihistamine and was back in emergency hours later with more hives and a swollen throat reaction. This sucked!!!!
Then…. I did another one months later and guess what?
Same thing. Hives and the “flu”…..This time I did not go to the hospital. I had learned what to expect and remembered my allergy. So, I suffered through and eventually it eased.
What did I learn from this cleansing event? Well nothing until I met my friend Cris Robinson a couple of years later.
Cris was and currently is, a Nutritionist. She was fascinating to me. I was starting to realize that perhaps the food I put into my body and the products I put on it…may be poisoning me. There was most certainly a HUGE curiosity and interest for me. It was a massive moment of discovering what I didn’t know…. that I didn’t know and I still dance with this fascination today. I learned a whole new world of nutrition and that something called “organic” existed. I learned that not all foods were equal and that the story of the food pyramid that I had been hypnotized with… was incomplete and maybe even a lie.
Wow!!!! Mind blown right? YES!
My journey with cleansing is/was my leaping off point for my own evolutionary journey. It is where I started to “listen” and choose differently. It was the first time in my life I chose me FIRST. Albeit under the guise of “cleansing”… “getting healthy”….”clean eating”. This information and discovery allowed me the freedom to break and blow apart soooooo much of the story I had been force fed as a child and young person. It was the first and safest way I could be radical. Choose for myself, by myself. I found complete freedom in this knowledge. It flew in the face of mainstream books, shows, education, text books and my family beliefs. It was real and it was mine.
Over the course of the next three years, I left my husband, found a new partner, started a blended family, left my well paid ..policing job, and started working in a health food store. Hmmmm crazy and scary when I put it all out on paper like that. That’s a story for another day, However; throughout these massive shifts in lifestyle and choices, I remained committed to my cleansing journey. Over the course of the next 5 years, I cleansed with regularity and fervor. In hindsight, my cleansing was possibly the only thing I had “control” of in my life. Or at least…that is what I thought at the time.
I cleansed each change of season and sometimes more. I tried every cleanse available. Every box cleanse and then moved on to organ specific cleanses. I did 5 months straight of liver, kidneys, bowel cleansing, general cleansing and parasite cleansing. I used herbs, teas, clay, homeopathics, flower essences, colon hydro therapy, tinctures, powders, cell salts, reiki and everything and anything that I read or heard about. I was always and still am… complimented on my glowing and healthy skin. I usually blush and say…” It’s the cleansing” I listened to product trainings, read books, watched documentaries, videos, workshops, and sucked up every last drop of knowledge I could glean from Cris. It really was my purpose on this earth for a long time. This knowledge and perpetual cleansing led me to where I stand today ….in the world of Intuitive Permaculture and Regenerative living practices. It doesn’t feel like a leap at all. It feels quite in alignment and a truth that I carry.
Cleansing in moments of my life was like any other “addiction”. My cleansing was infused with my desire to “fix” myself and inability to cope any other way. It was a conduit for control and management. The underlying belief was that I was toxic and dirty and needed to “clean up”. My cleansing was done mindfully ( or so I thought at the time) but now I know another layer of possibility when it comes to mindfulness. My cleansing had been driven by a deep belief that I was not “enough”. I was unrelenting, unforgiving and hard on myself. Cleansing was a very black and white, rule orientated experience for me. Zero room for error.
Cleansing for many people is about losing weight. It is about looking and feeling better. It has become quite “trendy” as do many other techniques or strategies. The pure intention of giving your tissues the best, “cleanest” most nourishing chance they can have is swapped with a “quick fix” or weight loss strategy or a way to make my shitty life better. It is in this recognition that I “stopped” cleansing. Well…cleansing the way and reasons for.. that I had previously done. I realized that I was whole and complete. Period. I discovered the Quantum Science world and the “field” of energy. I discovered Dr. Bruce Lipton, Lynne McTaggart and my good friend, Louise LeBrun. I discovered the truth that my thoughts could be far more “dangerous” and “ poisoning” than my food ever could. I was/am a BEing of energy. I changed focus and started working on my own evolution. Internally. Inside where I live. My SOUL’s work. I could no longer buy that the “food” was the only way. It was again, an incomplete story.
In my journey to remember or allow the I AM that I AM to return and be present, cleansing has fallen away as a relentless pursuit or activity. It is not something to be “stuck to” or obsessed about. I have discovered that with very little nutritional or supplemental support, my body will now let go easily. A cup of tea made with herbs from my garden can elicit a full cleansing response for me. I can work with acupuncture or foot reflexology to stimulate a release of toxins or support my liver. More and more homeopathics are my prime choice for “something more”. A gentle and supportive approach is my BEST medicine. I started to listen to a deeper SELF. A smaller quieter voice at first but now it is as clear as the birds. The more I arrive and live in the full measure of who I AM…. The more my body becomes attuned and “healthy”. That is NOT to say that the “food” I am consuming and the products I am using don’t matter…..because they do….a lot in fact.
This is to say that I choose a more WHOLE picture. I make my own body products, cleaners, teas, tinctures, meals, treats, ferments, canning and folklore medicine like Fire cider or elderberry syrup. I have a relationship with my farmers and have become one myself. I got “back to the land” sort of speak…What I really did was stopped and started to listen for ME. For that little wise voice who knows best for me. I listen to her and sometimes when I don’t listen to her… I listen to my body because it has a belly ache or bloating. These are the tell-tale signs that I did not check in fully or chose to ignore the true impulse. But its ok…because it’s a journey. It is not and nor has ever been a perfect process. I learned that “pushing thru” never served me….yes it kept me on the cleanse but it did not honor where I was at and my body needed to scream ever so loudly in order that I would listen. I do this in many areas of my life. It wasn’t until I started to invite vulnerability, honoring, softening and gentleness into my awareness that I realized how hard I had been pushing my SELF and my body. Not wrong or bad just not WHOLE or KIND. My body heals better when it is supported and not when I am fighting to keep the rules in place.
I am soon to be offering a “sustainable cleansing” class and in consideration for this practice, this BLOG was born. What I know about “sustainable” is that resilience is required. Resilience requires flexibility and an ability to constantly check in and tweak what is being done. If we don’t make room for a feedback loop and gentle check in, our bodies will need to scream really loudly in order to be heard. Ie. Body hives and flu.
I know that there is more in this story of cleansing for me that I will likely share but for now, I offer you these words. Perhaps you could invite yourself to see where you are being regimented and inflexible. Where you are driven and where it is at the cost of truly listening to SELF. In my pursuit for “health” I was ignoring THE most important part, my essence. Without my own essence or SOUL inside this device, it would not be animated/alive.
With those words, A huge mahalo for staying with me on my journey of cleansing.
My journey with "cleansing" my body started 16 years ago when I did my first Wild Rose Detox box cleanse. I had just had my first kid and felt exhausted, sick and tired. I bought a Wild Rose Detox kit (which many of you are familiar with…Terry Willard) and after 3 days, I broke out in full body hives and had the “flu”. After being pretty certain I was dying, I had my husband take me to emergency. I spent the evening with Doctors running tests to have them give me Benadryl (antihistamine) and send me home. Insult to injury…I am VERY allergic to Antihistamine and was back in emergency hours later with more hives and a swollen throat reaction. This sucked!!!!
Then…. I did another one months later and guess what?
Same thing. Hives and the “flu”…..This time I did not go to the hospital. I had learned what to expect and remembered my allergy. So, I suffered through and eventually it eased.
What did I learn from this cleansing event? Well nothing until I met my friend Cris Robinson a couple of years later.
Cris was and currently is, a Nutritionist. She was fascinating to me. I was starting to realize that perhaps the food I put into my body and the products I put on it…may be poisoning me. There was most certainly a HUGE curiosity and interest for me. It was a massive moment of discovering what I didn’t know…. that I didn’t know and I still dance with this fascination today. I learned a whole new world of nutrition and that something called “organic” existed. I learned that not all foods were equal and that the story of the food pyramid that I had been hypnotized with… was incomplete and maybe even a lie.
Wow!!!! Mind blown right? YES!
My journey with cleansing is/was my leaping off point for my own evolutionary journey. It is where I started to “listen” and choose differently. It was the first time in my life I chose me FIRST. Albeit under the guise of “cleansing”… “getting healthy”….”clean eating”. This information and discovery allowed me the freedom to break and blow apart soooooo much of the story I had been force fed as a child and young person. It was the first and safest way I could be radical. Choose for myself, by myself. I found complete freedom in this knowledge. It flew in the face of mainstream books, shows, education, text books and my family beliefs. It was real and it was mine.
Over the course of the next three years, I left my husband, found a new partner, started a blended family, left my well paid ..policing job, and started working in a health food store. Hmmmm crazy and scary when I put it all out on paper like that. That’s a story for another day, However; throughout these massive shifts in lifestyle and choices, I remained committed to my cleansing journey. Over the course of the next 5 years, I cleansed with regularity and fervor. In hindsight, my cleansing was possibly the only thing I had “control” of in my life. Or at least…that is what I thought at the time.
I cleansed each change of season and sometimes more. I tried every cleanse available. Every box cleanse and then moved on to organ specific cleanses. I did 5 months straight of liver, kidneys, bowel cleansing, general cleansing and parasite cleansing. I used herbs, teas, clay, homeopathics, flower essences, colon hydro therapy, tinctures, powders, cell salts, reiki and everything and anything that I read or heard about. I was always and still am… complimented on my glowing and healthy skin. I usually blush and say…” It’s the cleansing” I listened to product trainings, read books, watched documentaries, videos, workshops, and sucked up every last drop of knowledge I could glean from Cris. It really was my purpose on this earth for a long time. This knowledge and perpetual cleansing led me to where I stand today ….in the world of Intuitive Permaculture and Regenerative living practices. It doesn’t feel like a leap at all. It feels quite in alignment and a truth that I carry.
Cleansing in moments of my life was like any other “addiction”. My cleansing was infused with my desire to “fix” myself and inability to cope any other way. It was a conduit for control and management. The underlying belief was that I was toxic and dirty and needed to “clean up”. My cleansing was done mindfully ( or so I thought at the time) but now I know another layer of possibility when it comes to mindfulness. My cleansing had been driven by a deep belief that I was not “enough”. I was unrelenting, unforgiving and hard on myself. Cleansing was a very black and white, rule orientated experience for me. Zero room for error.
Cleansing for many people is about losing weight. It is about looking and feeling better. It has become quite “trendy” as do many other techniques or strategies. The pure intention of giving your tissues the best, “cleanest” most nourishing chance they can have is swapped with a “quick fix” or weight loss strategy or a way to make my shitty life better. It is in this recognition that I “stopped” cleansing. Well…cleansing the way and reasons for.. that I had previously done. I realized that I was whole and complete. Period. I discovered the Quantum Science world and the “field” of energy. I discovered Dr. Bruce Lipton, Lynne McTaggart and my good friend, Louise LeBrun. I discovered the truth that my thoughts could be far more “dangerous” and “ poisoning” than my food ever could. I was/am a BEing of energy. I changed focus and started working on my own evolution. Internally. Inside where I live. My SOUL’s work. I could no longer buy that the “food” was the only way. It was again, an incomplete story.
In my journey to remember or allow the I AM that I AM to return and be present, cleansing has fallen away as a relentless pursuit or activity. It is not something to be “stuck to” or obsessed about. I have discovered that with very little nutritional or supplemental support, my body will now let go easily. A cup of tea made with herbs from my garden can elicit a full cleansing response for me. I can work with acupuncture or foot reflexology to stimulate a release of toxins or support my liver. More and more homeopathics are my prime choice for “something more”. A gentle and supportive approach is my BEST medicine. I started to listen to a deeper SELF. A smaller quieter voice at first but now it is as clear as the birds. The more I arrive and live in the full measure of who I AM…. The more my body becomes attuned and “healthy”. That is NOT to say that the “food” I am consuming and the products I am using don’t matter…..because they do….a lot in fact.
This is to say that I choose a more WHOLE picture. I make my own body products, cleaners, teas, tinctures, meals, treats, ferments, canning and folklore medicine like Fire cider or elderberry syrup. I have a relationship with my farmers and have become one myself. I got “back to the land” sort of speak…What I really did was stopped and started to listen for ME. For that little wise voice who knows best for me. I listen to her and sometimes when I don’t listen to her… I listen to my body because it has a belly ache or bloating. These are the tell-tale signs that I did not check in fully or chose to ignore the true impulse. But its ok…because it’s a journey. It is not and nor has ever been a perfect process. I learned that “pushing thru” never served me….yes it kept me on the cleanse but it did not honor where I was at and my body needed to scream ever so loudly in order that I would listen. I do this in many areas of my life. It wasn’t until I started to invite vulnerability, honoring, softening and gentleness into my awareness that I realized how hard I had been pushing my SELF and my body. Not wrong or bad just not WHOLE or KIND. My body heals better when it is supported and not when I am fighting to keep the rules in place.
I am soon to be offering a “sustainable cleansing” class and in consideration for this practice, this BLOG was born. What I know about “sustainable” is that resilience is required. Resilience requires flexibility and an ability to constantly check in and tweak what is being done. If we don’t make room for a feedback loop and gentle check in, our bodies will need to scream really loudly in order to be heard. Ie. Body hives and flu.
I know that there is more in this story of cleansing for me that I will likely share but for now, I offer you these words. Perhaps you could invite yourself to see where you are being regimented and inflexible. Where you are driven and where it is at the cost of truly listening to SELF. In my pursuit for “health” I was ignoring THE most important part, my essence. Without my own essence or SOUL inside this device, it would not be animated/alive.
With those words, A huge mahalo for staying with me on my journey of cleansing.
